Carlotta here to shatter your myths and preconceptions about love and relationships. Many of you ask Carlotta, “Carlotta, how would you know so much about love? What makes you an expert? Have you ever been in love?” This is the time when I, Carlotta, must confess to you that, yes, Carlotta has been in love. [...]
Carlotta would like to speak with you about television. These television shows are pandering to the worst instincts of strong, young women everywhere. Today, we talk of princesses and princess shows and princess toys. Carlotta has known many princesses in her many centuries on Gaeia (or “Earth” for those of you less enlightened and ignorant). [...]
Dear Carlotta,
I wrote a note to Tim asking if he would go out with me. He said yes, but now what? What do I do? What do seventh graders do when they go out?
Sincerely, Bristol
Now that this “Timmy” has agreed to “go out” with you, he is under your divine influence and you should wield [...]
Thus begins our new, weekly feature at Acclimated Spooks: Relationship Advice with Carlotta, Queen of the Amazons, where YOU, the reader, can seek advice from our resident relationship expert, Carlotta. We begin our series with a letter from Sandy, a sixth grader from Tahlequah, Oklahoma. She writes:
Dear Carlotta,
My name is Sandy. I am in sixth [...]
